Debra Reiss, L.C.S.W., B.C.D.

Why do people go into therapy?

 

Many different reasons, most commonly just being unhappy with the way life is going. They want to improve their quality of life, to be in a better place, but don’t know how to get there. Going into therapy is a way of asking for help.

 

I don’t really have a specific problem, I just feel lousy most of the time.  Can therapy help me?

 

Absolutely.  Talk therapy helps people feel less isolated, less upset, less lonely, less anxious and less depressed.  Feeling “lousy” is a good clue that something isn’t right in your world.  Underneath you may be feeling isolated, lonely, anxious, upset or depressed. Talking with a therapist helps you figure out what’s causing the unhappiness. Then together you can work on ways to help you feel better and enjoy a happier life.

 

HOW OFTEN WILL I HAVE TO COME TO THERAPY?

 

It depends on what’s going on in your life at that time.  If you’re in a crisis you might come 2 or 3 times a week to start.  As you begin to feel better and gain more control of your situation your therapy may be cut back to once a week.  Most of the time meeting once a week on an on-going basis works very well. 

 

How long will I need to be in therapy?

 

It’s different for each person. A good way to approach it is to give yourself and the therapist a minimum amount of time, say 3 months or 12 sessions, to get to know one another and to learn how you work best together. 

 

ISN’T THAT CALLED “SHORT TERM THERAPY”?

 

Most people come into therapy in a state of distress so the first thing the therapist focuses on is symptom relief. If you’re interested in getting through one special problem or crisis, 3 months may be all the time you’ll need.  This is a short-term therapy we call “Crisis Intervention” and can be very effective.

 

Some people are interested in longer, deeper, more psychodynamic therapy where they work to gain insight into themselves and others so they can begin to feel better about themselves, improve their relationships, and make the changes they want to make to have a better quality of life.  This is considered a more open-ended therapy where the client and the therapist work within the therapeutic relationship to achieve agreed upon goals.

 

How should I choose my therapist?

 

Choosing the right therapist is very important.  People find their therapist in several ways.  One way is to get a referral from your primary care physician, another therapist, a professional organization such as the National Association of Social Workers (NASW); even from a friend who had a good experience with that therapist.  Some people use the internet or the yellow pages to find a therapist.

 

The most important thing in choosing a therapist is to go for an initial consultation where you can meet face-to-face.  When you’re there listen to your gut instincts.  If you feel comfortable, respected, and safe in the therapist’s office then go ahead and make another appointment.  If not, go for another consult with another therapist until you find the right fit for you,

 

I’m depressed (or anxious). Can’t I just get an anti-depressant or tranquilizer from my doctor? Why do I need to go to a therapist?

 

All the scientific research on depression and anxiety shows that the most effective treatment is a combination of medication and psychotherapy.  The medicine treats the symptoms so you can get some relief as quickly as possible.  But symptom relief is like putting a band-aid on a blister – until you find out what’s causing the blister it will keep returning. 

 

Therapy is a tool that can help you get to the root of your problems, the cause of that emotional blister. With the help of your therapist you learn to identify the causes). Then you begin the journey of learning how to solve, accept, change, adjust, and to move on.

 

My philosophy is to use, if possible, the least amount of medication for the least amount of time. Many people are able to work through their problems/moods without medication.  This is always decided on an individual basis.  If you and I decide that medication might be helpful I will then work with either your primary care physician or one of the several psychiatrists with whom I have a trusting relationship to come up with the best plan for you.

 

I’m having problems with my partner and THEY refuse to go to therapy, what should I do?

 

Go by yourself.  One of two things will happen: (1) as you begin to change your relationship will change too; and (2) as your partner begins to notice you changing they may want to try therapy also. At that point, your therapist will help you decide if couple counseling or separate individual therapy is best for you.

 

My son/daughter is having problems, should we go to family therapy or should they go alone?

 

This all depends on their age and the type of problems they’re facing.  Under 18 years old they’re considered minors and would probably do best if they went to the initial consultation with one or both parents.  During the consultation the therapist will evaluate the situation and be able to guide you from there.  Older children can, and probably should, go to the initial consultation on their own.  Sometimes a therapist will divide the consult in order to speak to family members both together and separately.

Frequently Asked Questions